This one night I drank alone and didn’t listen to Bread

April 18, 2022

(Belatedly published because I wrote this drunk, shelved it for being unfinished, and eventually forgot about its existence)

Right now, I’m listening to The Velvet Underground singing Sunday Morning while drunk and all I could think about is how much I just want to hear your voice singing this song. Have I ever told you how much you feel like home? You give me so much comfort in ways I have never known.

After Hours is playing now as I type this. I remember the cover you made while you and I were just getting to know each other. The longer I’ve known you, the more I see how, in those little moments of tenderness, were you so honest about how you felt towards me. Did I ever tell you how terrified you make me feel about how much you love me? I feel like I don’t deserve any of it.

Femme Fatale is playing now as I type this. I remember my conversation with Jess when she asked me if I were Bi. I told her I wasn’t sure in a sense that perhaps I was kidding myself all this time about my attraction to men. Have I ever told you about how you’ve helped me figure so much about myself out? I have never felt so sure about the ways of love and commitment until I met you.

I’ll Be Your Mirror is playing now as I type this. No other memory comes to mind except that I know I love this song with all of my heart. Have I ever told you how beautiful you are? How everything about you is wonderful and that singing praises about you doesn’t feel in the slightest bit difficult?